Hot Mess

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Today’s post is short & to the point ladies!

Do you ever feel like you have everything under control? Then do you only realize that you don’t have shit under control and you are the definition of a hot mess?

I feel like I wake up every morning ready to tackle everything that falls under work & motherhood but that on most days I will fall short somewhere. Any idea where I tend to fall short? You got it ! Motherhood! How is that I can be more focused, in control and on my A game in my career but with Motherhood (which is supposed to be easy because of maternal instincts) I seem to find a way to mess it up everyday? At work I have to do lists, deadlines and priories… somehow I remember it needs to be done and It gets done. At home I go to leave the house with my son and I forget to bring his lunch, or I forget my keys inside. How does that even happen? How do you leave your house without your keys?

I wasn’t always like this. When my son was first born I had everything in my total control. I was a breastfeeding champ, my son loved to cuddle with me, I somehow found time to nap, clean, and do piles of laundry all the while still giving him my undivided attention. But lets fast forward to two years later… my house is in a constant state of filth, I wait till the last minute to do laundry, there are toys scattered every where, and dishes pile in the sink until I load the dishwasher. Even though I neglect my household chores until the last possible second I still feel like I don’t give my son the attention he got as an infant.

By the time I get home from being stuck in traffic and getting my son its usually 6:30pm. Then its time for some dinner (after I make it) some cuddle time on the couch, a bottle and a bedtime book. He’s in bed by 8pm and I follow shortly after. It’s like the energy has been sucked out of me and all I need to do is lay down.

When I think about my childhood I try to remember what it was like for my mom. My mom worked two jobs, made dinner, did the dishes, cleaned the house, and paid the bills without an ounce of help from my sister and I. I mean how the hell did she do it? We grew up in a spotless house, not a single thing was out of place ever. I remember still being in high school and getting ready in the morning; by the time I got out of the shower my mom would have made my bed and eaten breakfast. Then there’s me. I don’t even have the energy to make my bed a few times a week. What the hell am I doing wrong? Is this normal?

Feeling like you don’t have everything under control and that you are somehow failing your child is one of the worst feelings that I have ever experienced. Any other moms out there going through the same thing? I can not be the only in the madness!

 

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1 thought on “Hot Mess”

  1. Yes ma’am!!! TOTALLY get it!!!! I was so there. That’s when we decided to downsize or living and I retired from a 15 year teaching career. Was SO hard to do at first. We made a ton of adjustments, but I tell you it has revolutionized our family. Best decision ever. It’s not for everyone, but maybe some how you can relieve your schedule. Yikes! Tough spot. I get it. Hang in there. 😊

    Like

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